Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un has declared a national state of emergency after returning from the bathroom to see that someone has unpaused his Skyrim game without his consent. Loyal comrades are reported to be throwing themselves in the streets in outrage of this affrontery.
Official investigation is underway, with the military pledging full support in resolving this crisis.
During the official conference, Supreme Leader took his valuable time to also deny reports that “Whoever smelled it, dealt it” but assert that he does support the official position “Whoever made the rhyme did the crime”.
In unrelated news, a former bodyguard to Supreme Leader has been jailed due to reports of flatulation on Supreme Leader’s bean bag chair.